My Cheeseburger

We all must be careful with the words we use. Words have power. Don't get me started on politics…It is also this permanence that kept me from writing.

Of all the aspects of my narrative to focus on, the fact that I’m doing it while I have a headache or am in pain is not what I want to highlight. It’s like the card that says “Ginger Rogers did it backwards and in heels…” I stopped writing this blog because I didn't want my definition of myself to include any diagnosis or conversation about my health. It is what it is.

I haven't updated the blog in two years because I have been quite undone…by a son.

He is amazing and the third child was the one that pushed us over the edge into constant chaos. We call him Cheeseburger. It was the only thing I craved while pregnant.…I was a vegetarian for years so there was particular irony when I heard the siren song of a burger.

As a third child he exceeded our population growth limit and I’ve been mindful and tried to use cloth diapers and as few resources as possible. So, I’ve legitimately been busy.

I told my neurologist that if you took the World Health Organization Disability Test and replaced the word “Disability” with “Children,” you get a pretty high score. At least I do. I’ve been overwhelmed by my children and recognize that I am blessed that the little monsters are healthy and bright enough to do so.

This blog continues to get readers despite my inactivity in part because I said that Myalgia Mommies are very different from Chronic Babes. (One of my favorite communities and is AMAZING!) To me Chronic Babe is a great resource for reminding you will get through this and be adorable.  This blog was meant as a place to go when you felt like "on top of all this pain I have to parent!" the goal is to be an entertaining distraction and as a reminder that you are not alone. My third pregnancy made me face exactly what it meant to be a mother knowing my limitations. I suffer from chronic daily headaches, fibromyalgia and anxiety. Children are triggers for all of these conditions. A child is a selfish, expensive decision (or blessing!) that alters the course of your life. They are also the source of pure magic.

I really wanted that cheeseburger.

I also feel like I need to stop mentioning that I have these chronic debilitating conditions because I am clearly still getting things done. Last weekend I went to a Mothers of Multiples tag sale. Those amazing women had multiple babies of the same age and were part of a volunteer club, they were all up, there and going through the motions.

There was a video that circulated the internet of the different kinds of moms on the playground: baby wearing mom, breast feeding mom, working moms, etc, I think if the Myalgia Mommies all had a secret nod we would be in a corner in sunglasses having quiet time. We could take turns watching the children like a pride of large cats.

That would be really cool.

I’ll look for you at the park.

Otherwise, it’s been a rough few months. I knew I was predisposed to a perinatal mood disorder or post-partum depression. It’s like a slow flood. You expect it, it comes, you deal with it, then you clean up after. I’ll blog about that separately. Also, I have three children.

I wish that every woman who suffers from postpartum depression can get the help and support that I did. In my case, I knew I was headed to a dark place: I learned of my pregnancy the same week that we put my father in hospice. He did not live to meet my son. Anyway…I keep promising myself that I am going to start writing again and this is a good first step.

Cheers,
ALJ

The MM Garden Delivers

This time last year I was moving into my current home and began what little gardening I do at the urging of CVW, the other original MM.

We were both limited by time and energy to the amount of gardening we were willing to do but urged each other into planting patio containers.

At my house the gardening spread around the patio and I had to create a criteria for what flowers I could plant. My baby ate everything. My options were a summer of panic and poison control or an all edible flower garden. We have marigolds.

I also grow a few kitchen herbs and really whatever strikes our fancy (and is edible, we have pets too) when we are at the garden store.

Compared to real gardeners, I am somewhere below a beginner. However, my gardening gives me some relaxing time and a small hobby so I'm claiming it. I cherish my small collection of pots.

It's already warming up and the garden has given me a great gift: water.

I don't like to drink water.

I pretend that I really enjoy it and have been trying to convince myself that nothing is as refreshing as a cool glass of water for years. I prefer coffee.

In the summer my body needs water, we all do, without any harmful additives or extra sugar. So do the kids.

A yoga instructor posted on Facebook that she was ready for a heat wave with herb infused water from her garden. Inspired, I looked around the patio and found mint.

It works!

Since there are few new ideas, if you search "mint infused water" there are recipes, photos and even a video.

Directions: pull some mint leaves off the plant. Put the mint in a pitcher of water. Leave in fridge overnight.

This summer I'm drinking more water, as long as the mint holds up. At least I will try to because I know when headaches come the first question you ask is if you have been drinking enough water.

As I Mom and a migraine sufferer, I know they are dehydrated and I will usually have to think about my answer.

So here's a minty toast wishing you a healthy, hydrated summer. If you have a favorite easy thing to add to water please share in the comments.

Cheers,
ALJ