Friday, August 3, 2012
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Our Deanna Doolittle Project- Help Needed!!
This blog was started as a forum for Mommies who suffer from a Chronic Pain condition but still manage to do it all (or most of it depending on the day!).
This post and a separate website will now be a quick test to see how many of us there are and how much we can overcome when crisis strikes. We need to help my sisterfriend and I know that many of you will be able to help her with words of support. She really needs it now.
Deanna Doolittle is an amazing woman who I have known since we where both adolescents.
Over the last 20 years we have both evolved in different directions but have maintained our connection as "sisterfriends." Sadly one of the many ways that we traveled a similar path is that Deanna and I both suffer from extreme chronic pain. In spite of this we both consider motherhood to be our highest and most rewarding calling.
In a future post I will explore the number of mothers who also suffer from chronic pain. I believe that we are a large sisterhood.
Deanna is the mother of five children, two grown sons and three beautiful little girls. The youngest is a 3 year old ray of sunshine. Like so many of us Deanna's world is full of little girls, play-dates, parent teacher conferences, pediatric well visits and obscene amounts of laundry. As with so many of the amazing woman I know I could write chapters about what a loving mother Deanna is, that too will come later.
Deanna is going through a crisis that could, theoretically, happen to any mother living with chronic pain. The entire medical history is now public record, suffice to say Deanna has Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, pelvic floor tension myalgia (the triggering event also caused PTSD, she suffered anal and vaginal trauma two weeks before her 16th birthday), migraines, and has had 15 operations; 13 anal surgeries, 3 colonoscopies, a lost baby, and she will continue to need operations to address anal fussures and anal fistulas. The latest operation was a hysterectomy to correct severe endometriosis.
I need to hug her right now! There is a long list of other problems, IBS, anxiety and things that come with illness.
Last year Deanna returned to school and completed a degree in Massage Therapy. She graduated (and passed certification) with flying colors. During this period she had an abcess burst during a class and had to be driven home then to her specialist. Also during this period, she filed for a divorce.
Deanna takes no narcotic or pain medicine. She manages her condition with muscle relaxants that slur her speech but allow her to function and lead a very full life.
On July 5, Deanna was in extreme distress having suffered days of bloody loose stools (another chronic condition on her list) and in the afternoon took a shower and a muscle relaxant before a nap with the baby. In the manner of a child, her 8 year old wanted to go outside and to the park but Mommy needed to rest. When Deanna fell asleep, in a room with a baby gate, her daughter decided to let the baby out and cause trouble. She went to the neighbors and said her "pill popping mother" (as her father and step-mother teach her) was passed out and she couldn't wake her up. At the neighbors house DHS was called for neglect. Deanna heard the neighbors at the front door and woke to great them. The next day a social worker came to her "messy" house and noted that Deanna was slurring her words. DEANNAS CHILDREN WERE REMOVED FROM HER HOME.
The baby remains in foster care. Deanna has given all medical records, prescriptions and many urine samples to DHS. We are working on a plan to address her daughter's anger and to teach her that "Mommy has to take this medicine for a reason."
We are getting everything sorted out. A date for trial has been set. This scenario could be enacted on any Myalgia Mommies going through a divorce. The truth will always come out, in this case the truth is she has been very wronged by a system that doesn't understand chronic pain.
I am setting up the Deanna Doolittle Project on a separate website where we will be collaborating on this case and possibly a book.
Please help.
Thank you,
Anna-Lisa Johanson JD-MPH
This post and a separate website will now be a quick test to see how many of us there are and how much we can overcome when crisis strikes. We need to help my sisterfriend and I know that many of you will be able to help her with words of support. She really needs it now.
Deanna Doolittle is an amazing woman who I have known since we where both adolescents.
Over the last 20 years we have both evolved in different directions but have maintained our connection as "sisterfriends." Sadly one of the many ways that we traveled a similar path is that Deanna and I both suffer from extreme chronic pain. In spite of this we both consider motherhood to be our highest and most rewarding calling.
In a future post I will explore the number of mothers who also suffer from chronic pain. I believe that we are a large sisterhood.
Deanna is the mother of five children, two grown sons and three beautiful little girls. The youngest is a 3 year old ray of sunshine. Like so many of us Deanna's world is full of little girls, play-dates, parent teacher conferences, pediatric well visits and obscene amounts of laundry. As with so many of the amazing woman I know I could write chapters about what a loving mother Deanna is, that too will come later.
Deanna is going through a crisis that could, theoretically, happen to any mother living with chronic pain. The entire medical history is now public record, suffice to say Deanna has Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, pelvic floor tension myalgia (the triggering event also caused PTSD, she suffered anal and vaginal trauma two weeks before her 16th birthday), migraines, and has had 15 operations; 13 anal surgeries, 3 colonoscopies, a lost baby, and she will continue to need operations to address anal fussures and anal fistulas. The latest operation was a hysterectomy to correct severe endometriosis.
I need to hug her right now! There is a long list of other problems, IBS, anxiety and things that come with illness.
Last year Deanna returned to school and completed a degree in Massage Therapy. She graduated (and passed certification) with flying colors. During this period she had an abcess burst during a class and had to be driven home then to her specialist. Also during this period, she filed for a divorce.
Deanna takes no narcotic or pain medicine. She manages her condition with muscle relaxants that slur her speech but allow her to function and lead a very full life.
On July 5, Deanna was in extreme distress having suffered days of bloody loose stools (another chronic condition on her list) and in the afternoon took a shower and a muscle relaxant before a nap with the baby. In the manner of a child, her 8 year old wanted to go outside and to the park but Mommy needed to rest. When Deanna fell asleep, in a room with a baby gate, her daughter decided to let the baby out and cause trouble. She went to the neighbors and said her "pill popping mother" (as her father and step-mother teach her) was passed out and she couldn't wake her up. At the neighbors house DHS was called for neglect. Deanna heard the neighbors at the front door and woke to great them. The next day a social worker came to her "messy" house and noted that Deanna was slurring her words. DEANNAS CHILDREN WERE REMOVED FROM HER HOME.
The baby remains in foster care. Deanna has given all medical records, prescriptions and many urine samples to DHS. We are working on a plan to address her daughter's anger and to teach her that "Mommy has to take this medicine for a reason."
We are getting everything sorted out. A date for trial has been set. This scenario could be enacted on any Myalgia Mommies going through a divorce. The truth will always come out, in this case the truth is she has been very wronged by a system that doesn't understand chronic pain.
I am setting up the Deanna Doolittle Project on a separate website where we will be collaborating on this case and possibly a book.
Please help.
Thank you,
Anna-Lisa Johanson JD-MPH
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Google +
We have 517 page views! Yay! So we have created a google + page! Just search us as Myalgia Mommies .https://plus.google.com/109541258661355949319/about
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Dr. Hashimoto, I Presume
Finally... this snake of pain that's been coiled around my back and joints and causing my myalgia for the past five months has a name. And the diagnosis is... <drum roll, please>... Hashimoto's Disease. Yes, I know. It sounds more like a poorly dubbed Godzilla movie than an actually affliction, but this little bugger causes a lot of problems.
Hashimoto's Disease is the leading cause of hypothyroidism in the good ole US of A. It's an auto-immune disease that causes the body's immune system to see the thyroid gland as an invader and attack it with a full arsenal of AMDs (Antibodies of Mass Destruction). There is no known cure for Hashimoto's Disease, but in the long list of disease possibilities that my string of doctors considered, it is certainly one of the most benign. That doesn't mean that it's symptoms - fatigue, depression, weight gain, cold intolerance, constipation, muscle cramps, decreased concentration, and aches and pains - don't suck. 'Cause I'm here to tell you that they do. And I think most Myalgia Mommies would agree with me.
Luckily, I've been on the levothyroxine doctors prescribe for the hypothyroidism caused by damage to my thyroid for the past two years. I also have a pretty severe Vitamin D deficiency, but 50,000 units a week should knock that out in no time. I'm still waiting for the back pain to decrease or (hopefully) disappear, but the aches and pains in my knees and hips have improved ten-fold. I feel better than I have in... well... five months, and I've managed to lose a tiny bit of the weight that has crept up on me over the years. Maybe I'll be back to exercising at full strength someday soon.
I feel very thankful to have finally received a diagnosis. It's such a relief to have a known enemy to fight. Though I will have to be on medication for the rest of my life and closely monitor my levels, I know it could have been so much worse.
I still have good days and bad days. I spent most of yesterday curled up in bed because the back pain returned with a vengeance, but now that I can name my demon, I know I can handle it. Dr. Hakaru Hashimoto, if you were alive today, I would kiss you. –cvw
Hashimoto's Disease is the leading cause of hypothyroidism in the good ole US of A. It's an auto-immune disease that causes the body's immune system to see the thyroid gland as an invader and attack it with a full arsenal of AMDs (Antibodies of Mass Destruction). There is no known cure for Hashimoto's Disease, but in the long list of disease possibilities that my string of doctors considered, it is certainly one of the most benign. That doesn't mean that it's symptoms - fatigue, depression, weight gain, cold intolerance, constipation, muscle cramps, decreased concentration, and aches and pains - don't suck. 'Cause I'm here to tell you that they do. And I think most Myalgia Mommies would agree with me.
Luckily, I've been on the levothyroxine doctors prescribe for the hypothyroidism caused by damage to my thyroid for the past two years. I also have a pretty severe Vitamin D deficiency, but 50,000 units a week should knock that out in no time. I'm still waiting for the back pain to decrease or (hopefully) disappear, but the aches and pains in my knees and hips have improved ten-fold. I feel better than I have in... well... five months, and I've managed to lose a tiny bit of the weight that has crept up on me over the years. Maybe I'll be back to exercising at full strength someday soon.
I feel very thankful to have finally received a diagnosis. It's such a relief to have a known enemy to fight. Though I will have to be on medication for the rest of my life and closely monitor my levels, I know it could have been so much worse.
I still have good days and bad days. I spent most of yesterday curled up in bed because the back pain returned with a vengeance, but now that I can name my demon, I know I can handle it. Dr. Hakaru Hashimoto, if you were alive today, I would kiss you. –cvw
Monday, April 23, 2012
Anna-Lisa Finally Speaks
As the Myalgia Mommy who hasn't posted yet because I am too busy dealing with my beautiful 11 year old and her pony and my amazing little 7 month baby who daily fill my life with love, I fully agree with the letter we received from a reader. Having kids rocks!
I have had severe, disabling fibromyalgia since about 1999, the year before my oldest daughter was born. I also suffer from chronic daily migraines that I started getting in Kindergarden. I have spent months in bed and gone as far as Kerala, India to find a good treatment.
It's the sleep deprivation and nursing that is killing me these days. I'm only able to take B, D, cal/mag and prenatal vitamins because I am nursing. Every few weeks I get broken down and have to take migraine meds and pump and dump the milk. Both the baby and Daddy hate those days!
Some days lifting the 30 pound carseat onto the stroller kills me. But I'm having fun.
This blog is about advice, like go to the drive thru zoo! Hours of amazing fun with very little heavy lifting!
Also, when the kids aren't in the car, it's fun - and therapeutic for me - to bitch a little!
Cheers,
Anna-Lisa
I have had severe, disabling fibromyalgia since about 1999, the year before my oldest daughter was born. I also suffer from chronic daily migraines that I started getting in Kindergarden. I have spent months in bed and gone as far as Kerala, India to find a good treatment.
It's the sleep deprivation and nursing that is killing me these days. I'm only able to take B, D, cal/mag and prenatal vitamins because I am nursing. Every few weeks I get broken down and have to take migraine meds and pump and dump the milk. Both the baby and Daddy hate those days!
Some days lifting the 30 pound carseat onto the stroller kills me. But I'm having fun.
This blog is about advice, like go to the drive thru zoo! Hours of amazing fun with very little heavy lifting!
Also, when the kids aren't in the car, it's fun - and therapeutic for me - to bitch a little!
Cheers,
Anna-Lisa
Inbox: A Letter from A Reader
Editorial Note: We received the following email from a reader, and after asking her permission, the Myalgia Mommies would like to share it with you because she eloquently sums up what we were trying to say. This author is another Myalgia Mommy who is totally rocking it!
Blogging, no matter how innocuous it seems the topic may be, is bound to ruffle some feathers, right? Someone is always bound to disagree. I hope that you can read this with an open mind. Knowing me, I'll probably be a bit blunt, but please know I'm not trying to be mean or offensive. And I just got your guard up, didn't I? hehehee
I've had a (rare, but specialist verified many times over) dual diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (among other things) since 1996, when I was just 20 years old. I got sick two weeks after I married my first husband (there's the trigger - huge mistake). I was one of the first in the country to receive Social Security Disability benefits for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (though I have since asked that they discontinue those benefits, against medical recommendations... long story, and the benefits have stopped). I'm the mother to two boys, ages 5 1/2 and nearly 4. I've got multiple friends who are also mothers who deal with chronic pain as well, though I've never been one to seek out others like me. Well, at least not in the past 15 or so years. A former coworker told me about your blog and since it's local and relevant to me as someone with chronic illness, I checked it out. I was only there a moment when I read this: "Chronic pain sucks! And parenting through the chronic pain double sucks!"
Blogging, no matter how innocuous it seems the topic may be, is bound to ruffle some feathers, right? Someone is always bound to disagree. I hope that you can read this with an open mind. Knowing me, I'll probably be a bit blunt, but please know I'm not trying to be mean or offensive. And I just got your guard up, didn't I? hehehee
I've had a (rare, but specialist verified many times over) dual diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (among other things) since 1996, when I was just 20 years old. I got sick two weeks after I married my first husband (there's the trigger - huge mistake). I was one of the first in the country to receive Social Security Disability benefits for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (though I have since asked that they discontinue those benefits, against medical recommendations... long story, and the benefits have stopped). I'm the mother to two boys, ages 5 1/2 and nearly 4. I've got multiple friends who are also mothers who deal with chronic pain as well, though I've never been one to seek out others like me. Well, at least not in the past 15 or so years. A former coworker told me about your blog and since it's local and relevant to me as someone with chronic illness, I checked it out. I was only there a moment when I read this: "Chronic pain sucks! And parenting through the chronic pain double sucks!"
Really?
I have to say that I find this not only marginally offensive, but also grossly inaccurate. I've run it by a few of my chronically ill friends and they felt the same prod from that statement. Are you honestly saying that having children has made your life WORSE?
If ANYTHING, having the love and energy of my children is motivational and healing. They bring comfort and unconditional love that fast becomes foreign to a PWC. They don't judge. They don't call you a hypochondriac. Yes, they are demanding and they require a metric shit ton of work and drain already empty energy reserves, but ya know what? What they give in return is ANYTHING but suck.
I understand that you've not been sick for very long (though I know it feels long to you), and maybe that's a big part of it. I still remember the newness of it. The complete destruction of everything I was and everything I could do, and how that was replaced with nothing but failure and pain and rage and madness and self-loathing. I remember losing every last one of my friends. I remember mourning all the things I used to be and the buzzing ball of energy I had always been. I even remember believing 'them' when they said it was all in my head, at least for a while. I remember wishing it away - willing myself well and fighting so hard, only to be knocked on my ass so hard that I ended up literally bedridden for months, even having to be carried to the bathroom. The bullshit we all have faced (and even after all these years, some of it still comes up) is serious, but the reality is that there ARE things that we have to change our view on not only for ourselves, but for every single person we come in contact with. The biggest one, to me, has been to appreciate every single thing - to find the positive in absolutely anything and everything. And the biggest of those positives is the very existence of my children. If I didn't have them, my ass WOULD stay in the bed each morning, as long as possible. And ya know, sometimes it does. But not without them there to remind me that even though I'm hurting and can't be Her, I have immense value and I am completely loved. And to label that as "suck" just pisses me right the fuck off. I have a tendency to ramble, so I'm going to stop here.
I hope you'll take a moment to rethink your view, or at the very least, your wording. You're essentially stabbing mothers and children with that statement.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Point of View from 11 year old daughter
My Mom is Anna-Lisa Johanson. I own and ride a pony named Dream. Riding is an intense, outdoor, hands on, work! My Mom was pregnant during one of my Pony and Me overnight camps and she came anyway as a chaperone. I know she went through a lot of pain and I also know it was hard. It is hard living with someone going through chronic pain. You have to do extra chores and when she has a headache or too tired ( I am not complaining). It is hard to have sleepovers at my house because my Mom is sometimes in pain and she cannot handle more than 2 children. My Mom has had chronic pain my WHOLE life, but then when we moved here she met Ms. Christy. ( Ms. Christy other blogger on Myalgia Mommies) we started having fun and we started ignoring the chronic pain. We did fun crafts and took fun road trips that were pain free AND fun! My Mom is the best!
-Sheela
Friday, April 20, 2012
Living Around
I had a hard time falling asleep last night. I couldn't stop thinking about the concept of living WITH chronic pain. I'm pretty sure I'm not walking hand-in-hand through a field of wildflowers with my bodily aches. So I decided I must be living AROUND it.
I look at it this way: less than a year ago, I was a vibrant, healthy woman with a triathlete husband and a son who wrestles and plays lacrosse. We were an incredibly active family, camping and hiking every weekend. My son and I were even training for a 5K together. I used to rock climb, for heaven's sake. Now, I consider it an accomplishment to walk up the stairs with a basketful of laundry. And more often than not, I get my husband to carry it up for me.
Living AROUND chronic pain means that I have to carefully plan my agenda for the week and schedule my errands to coincide with the times of the day when I will have enough energy. I know I have to grocery shop in the mornings after I drop my son off at school because I'm too tired in the afternoons and I know I can't handle the crowds. I know I will hit a wall around 3 o'clock and need a nap, so I make sure I've completed at least one item on my list by then so I can feel I've spent my day productively.
Since I'm not working right now, I've been trying to do little home improvement projects - fixing up my deck, planting a container garden, creating my own DIY art projects. These activities make me feel good about myself, but they take a lot out of me. I've had to learn to work within the strict limits set by my body. If I exceed those limits (like toting 8 bags of potting soil from the car to the back yard), I am totally worthless the next day. To paraphrase the immortal line from Top Gun, I have to make sure my brain isn't writing checks that my body can't cash.
The Myalgia Mommies would love to hear how you are living AROUND your chronic pain. Please leave us a comment on our blog site or feel free to email us at myalgiamommies@gmail.com. You can also friend the Myalgia Mommies on Facebook. - cvw
I look at it this way: less than a year ago, I was a vibrant, healthy woman with a triathlete husband and a son who wrestles and plays lacrosse. We were an incredibly active family, camping and hiking every weekend. My son and I were even training for a 5K together. I used to rock climb, for heaven's sake. Now, I consider it an accomplishment to walk up the stairs with a basketful of laundry. And more often than not, I get my husband to carry it up for me.
Living AROUND chronic pain means that I have to carefully plan my agenda for the week and schedule my errands to coincide with the times of the day when I will have enough energy. I know I have to grocery shop in the mornings after I drop my son off at school because I'm too tired in the afternoons and I know I can't handle the crowds. I know I will hit a wall around 3 o'clock and need a nap, so I make sure I've completed at least one item on my list by then so I can feel I've spent my day productively.
Since I'm not working right now, I've been trying to do little home improvement projects - fixing up my deck, planting a container garden, creating my own DIY art projects. These activities make me feel good about myself, but they take a lot out of me. I've had to learn to work within the strict limits set by my body. If I exceed those limits (like toting 8 bags of potting soil from the car to the back yard), I am totally worthless the next day. To paraphrase the immortal line from Top Gun, I have to make sure my brain isn't writing checks that my body can't cash.
The Myalgia Mommies would love to hear how you are living AROUND your chronic pain. Please leave us a comment on our blog site or feel free to email us at myalgiamommies@gmail.com. You can also friend the Myalgia Mommies on Facebook. - cvw
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Welcome All Myalgia Mommies
This morning when I woke up, I was as cranky as a toddler with the runs. My neck was stiff. My back ached. As I threw my legs over the side of the bed, my joints cricked and cracked like dry twigs. A geriatric groan escaped my lips as I maneuvered myself out of bed. It wasn't graceful, and it wasn't pretty. And I'll admit I might have been a tad bit gruff when I hobbled into my son's room and ordered him to get out of bed and get ready for school.
What can I say? I was pissed - pissed that I can't roll out of bed any more with the finesse of an Olympic gymnast (even a retired Olympic gymnast) - pissed that my thighs shake and my knees buckle when I walk down stairs - pissed that at the ripe young age of 41, my body has betrayed me, and I now take more pills than my grandfather used to take.
Somehow, in the last five months, I have become a member of a very elite group - the Myalgia Mommies. Whether it be fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus or any other type of chronic physical discomfort, Myalgia Mommies are women joined together by a common thread - we are all parenting through the pain.
I must confess that I'm not sure what I would do without a very special group of friends and family to help me deal with my new reality. Myalgia Mommies wants to provide the same sense of support for those of you dealing with your own realities. We would love to hear from you. We want to know about your greatest successes - and your greatest failures. Tell us about how you deal with parenting through the pain. Leave us a comment on our blog site or email us at myalgiamommies@gmail.com. We're looking forward to meeting you! -cvw
What can I say? I was pissed - pissed that I can't roll out of bed any more with the finesse of an Olympic gymnast (even a retired Olympic gymnast) - pissed that my thighs shake and my knees buckle when I walk down stairs - pissed that at the ripe young age of 41, my body has betrayed me, and I now take more pills than my grandfather used to take.
Somehow, in the last five months, I have become a member of a very elite group - the Myalgia Mommies. Whether it be fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus or any other type of chronic physical discomfort, Myalgia Mommies are women joined together by a common thread - we are all parenting through the pain.
I must confess that I'm not sure what I would do without a very special group of friends and family to help me deal with my new reality. Myalgia Mommies wants to provide the same sense of support for those of you dealing with your own realities. We would love to hear from you. We want to know about your greatest successes - and your greatest failures. Tell us about how you deal with parenting through the pain. Leave us a comment on our blog site or email us at myalgiamommies@gmail.com. We're looking forward to meeting you! -cvw
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Myalgia Mommies Need a (Spring) Break
We Myalgia Mommies are so proud of ourselves for surviving the first half of what is one of the most challenging weeks of the year - Spring Break! Despite rolling out of bed every morning feeling like our bones are made of lead, we think we've managed to provide our kids with a pretty nice little stay-cation. We've organized Easter crafts, planted sunny Spring flowers and caught fish in a local pond.
But perhaps our greatest achievement so far was a road trip to a tiny gem hidden off the back roads near Mooresville, NC. If you are a Myalgia Mommy living near Charlotte, NC, consider yourself lucky that you are within thirty minutes of the Lazy 5 Ranch, a small, drive-thru animal park filled with exotic animals that you can feed from the safety of your car.
Our kids range in age from thirteen years to seven months, but all the kids LOVED the Lazy 5. Feeding ostriches and emus, Watusi cattle and zebu, petting llamas and oryx, and dodging the tongues of Scotch Highland cattle had them screaming with laughter. The food was flying but so was the fun. Around each bend was a new species that the kids tried to lure to their car window with the promise of a delicious treat, and most of the animals were happy to oblige. Those that didn't were so fun to watch that we didn't mind that the zebras and giraffes turned up their noses at our offerings.
Best of all, since most of the animal park is drive-thru, our Myalgia Mommy bodies were spared the wear and tear of a traditional zoo. Granted, when you factor in our two and a half hour drive, it was still a long day for everyone, but we Myalgia Mommies feel it was totally worth it. If you are interested, check out the Lazy 5 at this link: http://www.lazy5ranch.com/. We'd love to hear about your experiences, or how other Myalgia Mommies occupy their kids during Spring Break. Leave us a comment or email us at myalgiamommies@gmail.com. You can also follow us on Facebook.
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Yesterday was a supervised visit with baby Charlotte, who is 3 and has been in foster care since July 6.
At the end of the visit, the social worker had to take her away again.
Charlotte began to cry and reach out for her mother. She was crying, "Mommy, please let me come home! Mommy, I need you!"
This situation is being sorted out. I fear that any Myalgia Mommie going through a conflict (in this case divorce) could lose custody of her children.
As a Myalgia Mommie who suffers from chronic migraines, when things like this happen to good people (in this case a friend of twenty years) I have to put on my law school hat and help sort out an ignorant Social Worker. WAIT. There are excellent Social Workers in our world, probably some that are also Myalgia Mommies.
Please leave a comment of support for Deanna. She misses her kids. I would have a complete breakdown in her situation and believe she is navigating the system gracefully.