Monday, August 27, 2012

A Fashionable Myalgia Mommie

This weekend we met Fleming Samuels, owner of Fleming Clothing and fellow Myalgia Mommie. We were blown away by both her clothing designs and her story. Her clothes are made from 100% organic cotton and are produced locally right here in the Triangle area of NC. The fabrics are vibrant and fun, and you can design your own outfits. Fleming Clothing will ship them right to your door. How easy is that! Even the website is colorful and fun!

In the coming weeks, we are hoping (fingers crossed) that Fleming can find some time to write a guest blog for us here at Myalgia Mommies! We look forward to hearing from her soon! And we're sure she would love to hear from you, so stop by her website and tell her the Myalgia Mommies sent you!

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Civil Union Mediation

Feel free to use this outline. If it helps you, send me $. If you don't have any extra $ use it with my blessing.

1. Custody
1.a. Mother primary custody
1.a.1. Week on/ week off not good for well being of children.
1.a.1.a. Children need a primary residence Mon.-Fri. For emotional growth
1.a.1.b. mother will reasonably accommodate all visitation requests
1.a.1.c. Weekends and holidays TBD
2. Healthcare
2.a. Mother will insure child.
2.a.1. Responsible for all well child pediatric visits.
2.a.2 F will be informed/consulted when major medical issues arise.
2.a.3. F will reimburse M for 50% of all HC expenses.
3. School
3.a. Child will attend Public School
3.b. M will notify F of all school events and conferences
3.c. Until age of public school, a ore-K program will be used.
3.c.1. Choice of Pre-k is Montessori method.
3.c.1.a. F will pay 50% of school fees.
4. Child Support
4.a. F will pay 30% of income or $1k/month
5. Mutual assets
5.a. House to M (she owns it)
5.b. debt
5.b.1 M will provide court w accounting of mutual debt. F to pay 50% of all outstanding mutual debt.
5.c. Other assets
5.c.1. Parties will retain all assets they brought to marriage.

6. Fees
6.a. If Father wishes to challenge the above agreement he will be responsible for attorney and court fees incurred in dispute.

7. Amendments
7.a. This agreement can be amended by mutual agreement of M & F.

The End

Divorce Mediation is easy!
Xo
ALJ

MM Health Alert

Hi fellow Myalgia Mommies, we are under a few public health red alerts that I wanted to share with you.

On the East Coast and South there is a nasty West Nile Virus going around (in St. Croix our mosquito bourn disease is Dengue Fever, 1in 3 die, others call it the "bone break fever. The symptoms basically are the same for my fibromyalgia so I was not sympathetic to nurses who had it and whined about being in pain!)

Please cover yourself and your kids in bug spray. The West Nile is getting into a death count.

The second warning applies to everyone who comes into contact with pigs. Swine flu is going around. You can get an H1N1 vaccine ordered thru your pharmacy or primary care doctor. Dying from Swine Flu is just silly. I'm just avoiding pigs (except in the form of meat!) but my kid got the vaccine in 2010.

Third warning, this is local to NC, we have had to put several horses, a few dozen dogs and more to sleep for rabies. Even the baby is now current for rabies. The treatment is painful if you get to the point where you are foaming at the mouth, they put you in a medically induced coma.

Lately I have been working in West Coast time zone, living with a baby on the East Coast. I need more sleep.

Finally, please don't start any fires.

This is the end of Myalgia Mommies public health warnings for Labor Day Weekend.

Xo
ALJ
JD-MPH

Saturday, August 25, 2012

MM support each other, with clothes!

Today at University Mall Fleming of Fleming Clothing is having her first warehouse sale with a Migraine!

She is awesome! She designs the clothes, has the all organic adorable prints sewn in her NC factory. Today she is selling each left over item for $5 so come get ur kids adorable clothes!

Xo
ALJ

Monday, August 20, 2012

Deanna's Project: Home, but is it really?

Deanna's Project: Home, but is it really?: I returned home today, but besides my beloved animals it doesn't feel like home. My home is where my children are. And the house is void of ...

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Daily List, revised

Todays List

1. Make tea
1.a Drink at least 4 cups
1.a.1 Note from throat to brain
1.a.1.a Hey we are swollen over here!
1.a.1.b You are losing your voice.
1.a.1.c Do you really want to get strep?
1.a.2. Reply from Brain
1.a.2.a.I'm drinking the tea. Shut it!
2. Finish everything from yesterday's list.
2.a. Re-read yesterdays list
3. Work
4. Pack for beach
5. Use the word #Kafkaesque in every tweet I send today.
6. Try to stop being so Kafkaesqe.
6.a. We all read "The Trial"
6.a.1 We all relive "The Trial" several times a day
6.a.1.a remember to follow up on 8 daily trials
6.a.1.b. only accept 2 new trials
6.a.1.b.1 this is tiring work!
7. Try to blow up the internet/my phone/and/or save the world!


Please remind people to take the stupid physics poll so we know which ones are stupid.
Please ask people to stop blowing up my phone. I habs a sored throat.



The Daily List

1. Make tea
1.a Drink at least 4 cups
1.a.1 Note from throat to brain
1.a.1.a Hey we are swollen over here!
1.a.1.b You are losing your voice.
1.a.1.c Do you really want to get strep?
1.a.2. Reply from Brain
1.a.2.a.I'm drinking the tea. Shut it!
2. Finish everything from yesterday's list.
2.a. Re-read yesterdays list
3. Work
4. Pack for beach
5. Use the work #Kafkaesque in every tweet I send today.
6. Try to stop being so Kafkaesqe.
6.a. We all read "The Trial"
6.a.1 We all relive "The Trial" several times a day
6.a.1.a remember to follow up on 8 daily trials
6.a.1.b. only accept 2 new trials
6.a.1.b.1 this is tiring work!
7. Try to blow up the internet/my phone/and/or save the world!

Please remind people to take the stupid physics poll so we know which ones are stupid.

Oh I could go on for days.

But I'm going to the beach.

GotKafka?

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

The Daily List

The Office is open. Please stop calling me. 

Down another rabbit hole. 

If I am working with a client, I refer to the project as being down another rabbit hole. If you call me and I keep saying down another rabbit hole it means that I am working on someone else's dime and feel like I am being rude to them. I am ridiculously ethical. I want to teach ethics!

This is my to do list. 

1. Write blog
1.a How many blogs?
1.a.1 Can I post the same thing on all of my blogs?
1.a.2 Will anyone notice and/or care?
2. SLR Vaccinations
2.a. is D-TAP up to date?
2.a.1 Way to go hippie parent who brought pertussis to camp!
2.a.1.a Sheela makes me pay her to get shots. 
2.a.1.a.1 So her vaccine record is in hard copy in the form of webkins. 
2.b What is going on with these pigs this year?
2.b.1 We did the CDC HINI Program on STX in 2010 with 6 mo. booster.
2.b.2 Is it safe to go to the NC State Fair this year?
2.b.2.a Is this H1N2 or are we good?
2.b.2.b Will some kid give my new baby a disease from a pig?
2.b.2.c STOP TOUCHING PIGS!!!!!!
2.b.2.c.1 You have to pay me to touch a pig. I am immune suppressed. 
3.a. Contact SS School
3.a.1 Figure out how to email Counselor her records.
3.a.1.a Remind Sheela that she is good at math. I have proof. 
4.a. MER swim class
4.b.1 Call Parks and Rec
4.b.2. Pick a class
4.b.3. Sign-up
4.b.4. Remember to show up!
5. Insert Marx reference here for highbrow/well read crowd
6. Figure out a way to get paid.
6.a.1 Stop taking Pro-Bono Cases
6.a.1.a I told you on twitter that we are operating at 50% pro-bono
7. Wait for verdict to come in
7.a. He will call as soon as the judge reads it
7.a.1 Go USA DOJ!
8. Pack for beach
8.a. Do I need a boat at this beach?
9. Clean House
10.Clean car
11. Pay Debts
12.Laundry
13.Blog


Did anyone else notice how we just went in a big circle?
Down Another Rabbit Hole!
ALJ

ps Plan Mimi's B-Day Party
Note to self: Where is Meme

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Sorry

Hi Myalgia Mommies.

Sorry I haven't been sharing my funny stories with you. Life is good. Follow me on twitter at @islandannaland. It is where I am queen.

Really funny stuff happens to me!

Like I wrote up a page to use for my LLC so I can bill people. The I get to join the working myalgia mommies club (which is HUGE!).

So read my Letter to My Daughters

Read my letter to you.

It's all on blogger at One Dead Mother.

I know the name is kinda tacky, but I was really tired.
(see purpose of this blog. I need more than the 5 hours of sleep I am getting. Side effects include excessive usage of social media to say nothing!)

So, please, if you are surfing, check me out.

But not like that, my husband is my hero.

Just like Ayn Rand.

Read more.

Love
ALJ

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Letter to My Daughters

This letter is to my Daughters:

1. This is where Mommy works. It is a really sad place.
2. Big Sissy is on the phone with me now. Our 11 year old daughter is at Polox Made Simple Camp with her Pony Dreamer. It is raining. Sheela is camping. Sheela, you want to come home from PMS Camp because of Mother Nature. You don't get the joke because you are only 11. Please stop reading Mommies blogs. They are sadder than PMS in the rain.
3. Mimi, in order for me to write this, you are being babysat by Blowfeld, our white german dwarf hamster. If he gives you the plaugue, well, that's daycare for you!
4. Mommy loves you.
5. Mommies Mommy died of sadness. It is Mommy's job to make sure other Mommies don't ever die of sadness. We know how to detect, treat, prevent and in most cases cure sadness.
6. This is really sad. Worse than Beaches. You should stop reading now.
7. Seriously, get off the computer.
8. I have set the parental controls so you can only have 2 hours a day.
9. Do your homework.
10. Go play on horse.
11. Stop reading about my day job.
12. It's really sad.
13. Times up!

Friday, August 10, 2012

Why We Are Crying

Why We Are Crying

Why We Are Crying

Why We Are Crying

Deanna tried mediation. Still did nothing wrong.

Has not had custody of her daughter in over 30 days.

It's like prayer chain time.

Light a candle already!

Myalgia Mommies is a Team Sport

Myalgia Mommies is a Team Sport

Luckily there are many of us. Myalgia means pain. Most Mothers either suffer from some form of chronic pain or take care of someone in chronic pain so they are a Myalgia Mommie by proxy.

The ? is how big is the team? That remains to be determined.

Please leave response below for equipment manager!

Deanna's Awesome Head Shot

Deanna looks pretty. I would totally skype with her.

Me, I'm not wearing make-up or pants!

Cheers,
ALJ

Free advice!

Deannas Mediation and Case Management Meeting was set for 10 am. I am on the clock on the Deanna Doolittle project, so please read her blog and wish us luck!

Deanna Got Her Own Page

That's right, we figured out how to use blogger. Almost.

Myalgia mommies really is a team sport and Mimi is screaming in her crib because my child care FAILED (you know who you are and I still  love you!)

Deanna and I are about to go to the mediation. I feel rude being a mediator in a mediation. Or at least excessive.

Please follow Deanna at Deanna Doolittle. Right here on blogger.

And calm the baby.

She is upsetting my little black dog, Lala!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Why ALJ Is A Bad Case Manager

Why ALJ Is A Bad Case Manager

Blogging from Home?

Are you kidding me?

I don't even have a desk in this house. I am sharing a desk with everyone. Time to buy some furniture!

Somehow over the course of the week acting as a case manager for the "Deanna Doolittle Project" let out the secret that I had come out of retirement.

I can only handle 10 cases at once....nearing my limit!

So, tomorrow at 8 am I have child care set up so I can be in the call to make a treatment plan. Thats the easiest thing to write if you have done all the reading.

Keeping up with the reading is the other half.

Showing up is the first.

Phones count!

TTYL

XO

ALJ

Deanna's Tear Jerker

This blog is seriously down. Deanna Doolittle made me cry this morning with a moving blog she wrote. She sent it to me on facebook private message. I have no idea how to post it.

We need a myalgia mommies administrator who can keep up with multiple social media platforms!!

Sorry!

Hope you are on Facebook?

Cheers,
ALJ

Myalgia Mommies is a Team Sport

Myalgia Mommies are not good editors.



Sunday, August 5, 2012

Message from Deanna

myalgiamommiesblogspot.com

Well, that blog has started somewhat of a life of its own and the women who are part of it all have their personal stories, including me. My friend, who is simply wonderful, has offered to do some documentary photos and then once I reunited with my children is gracious enough to go a family photo shoot. Karen Gilbrande (i i am pretty sure that i misspelled that and i ap
ologize) you are truly an amazing person with a huge heart and i can't thank you enough. But, like all the other fantastic people who have rallied around me, i promise you will get a surprise from me.

As for the blog, please keep checking in because we update constantly, and it will also give you information on the book that we are working on. I can't believe how many people across the world who have been moved by it, and they are so thankful because for the first time for many of them, they can get help, someone will hear them and they don't feel so alone. I am truly thankful for all the readers, people that comment and especially to my sister/friend Anba-Lisa who started the blog. So tell your friends, co-workers, family even strangers about us and how we can help or they can help us by becoming part of this fantastic blogging community. Much love and light to you all, and thank you to all my friend on Facebook who have called or messaged me, and for getting the word out about this amazing blog. Much love!





Why ALJ Is A Bad Case Manager

During the three years that I lived on STX, I managed my chronic pain with the right combination of preventative meds and the occasional migraine injection (more about that to come...) which I was happy with. Then I was blessed with my second child and needed to move to where they had all the specialists a case like mine needed (found a great Neurologist who is a Myalgia Mommie with a full plate, she also suffers from migraines and has a two-year old, the test was simple- what will not pass thru breastmilk?) including the only perinatal inpatient mood disorder ward (more about PPD in a paper I wrote somewhere else).

I will really need to edit that sentence.

When bad things happen to good people in my life, I get sad. Then I try to fix them (I think that is the MPH "problem solving" thing again.) When I try to fix things I get a migraine. If it doesn't go away with medications, after about 5 days I would snap. I had to induce my new baby at 39 weeks because I had a blinding migraine for 2 weeks and there was nothing safe (that I wanted to expose Mimi to) that I could take. Ditto to breastmilk.

Another horribly written sentence.

Myalgia Mommies are any woman who lives with a form of chronic pain. I was thinking we could have 50 shades of committees for the number of mothers who live with a chronic medical condition. Kids are really hard to raise correctly, and we are doing it.

Winning!

If you are a myalgia mommie and want to share your story and your advice with this group, please enter a submission.

Also please form a submission review committee because we want to be nice to everyone. Only good people allowed in the club.

As soon as I can break this multi day migraine I am going to post my CV, I am very sensitive and insecure. Often I feel like people don't take me seriously.

This Deanna Doolittle thing has brought me out of retirement. I am now about to put on my big expert witness shoes that say "sorry, but you are a boy and can't walk in these, they make my calves look good so any discomfort is worth it." Don't worry, someone else is the stylist on the project!

I am really looking forward to going to CO to be with Deanna. Mostly because I get to hug her in person. Also we are getting a spa day, hair stylist, photo shoot, Kale chips and other amazing friends. Is it selfish of me to go and help her?

It is now past my bedtime and I have missed too many trains of thought lately.

Sweet dreams.

Cheers,
ALJ


Friday, August 3, 2012

Why We Are Crying


Deanna had her third UA today and eye check to prove that she is not a "drug addict"!!

Yesterday was a supervised visit with baby Charlotte, who is 3 and has been in foster care since July 6.

At the end of the visit, the social worker had to take her away again.

Charlotte began to cry and reach out for her mother. She was crying, "Mommy, please let me come home! Mommy, I need you!"

This situation is being sorted out. I fear that any Myalgia Mommie going through a conflict (in this case divorce) could lose custody of her children.

As a Myalgia Mommie who suffers from chronic migraines, when things like this happen to good people (in this case a friend of twenty years) I have to put on my law school hat and help sort out an ignorant Social Worker. WAIT. There are excellent Social Workers in our world, probably some that are also Myalgia Mommies.

Please leave a comment of support for Deanna. She misses her kids. I would have a complete breakdown in her situation and believe she is navigating the system gracefully. 
ReplyDelete

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Our Deanna Doolittle Project- Help Needed!!

This blog was started as a forum for Mommies who suffer from a Chronic Pain condition but still manage to do it all (or most of it depending on the day!).

This post and a separate website will now be a quick test to see how many of us there are and how much we can overcome when crisis strikes. We need to help my sisterfriend and I know that many of you will be able to help her with words of support. She really needs it now. 

Deanna Doolittle is an amazing woman who I have known since we where both adolescents.

Over the last 20 years we have both evolved in different directions but have maintained our connection as "sisterfriends." Sadly one of the many ways that we traveled a similar path is that Deanna and I both suffer from extreme chronic pain.  In spite of this we both consider motherhood to be our highest and most rewarding calling. 

In a future post I will explore the number of mothers who also suffer from chronic pain. I believe that we are a large sisterhood.

Deanna is the mother of five children, two grown sons and three beautiful little girls.  The youngest is a 3 year old ray of sunshine.  Like so many of us Deanna's world is full of little girls, play-dates, parent teacher conferences, pediatric well visits and obscene amounts of laundry.  As with so many of the amazing woman I know I could write chapters about what a loving mother Deanna is, that too will come later.

Deanna is going through a crisis that could,  theoretically, happen to any mother living with chronic pain. The entire medical history is now public record, suffice to say Deanna has Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, pelvic floor tension myalgia (the triggering event also caused PTSD, she suffered anal and vaginal trauma two weeks before her 16th birthday), migraines, and has had 15 operations; 13 anal surgeries, 3 colonoscopies, a lost baby, and she will continue to need operations to address anal fussures and anal fistulas. The latest operation was a hysterectomy to correct severe endometriosis.

I need to hug her right now! There is a long list of other problems, IBS, anxiety and things that come with illness.

Last year Deanna returned to school and completed a degree in Massage Therapy. She graduated (and passed certification) with flying colors. During this period she had an abcess burst during a class and had to be driven home then to her specialist. Also during this period, she filed for a divorce.

Deanna takes no narcotic or pain medicine. She manages her condition with muscle relaxants that slur her speech but allow her to function and lead a very full life.

On July 5, Deanna was in extreme distress having suffered days of bloody loose stools (another chronic condition on her list) and in the afternoon took a shower and a muscle relaxant before a nap with the baby. In the manner of a child, her 8 year old wanted to go outside and to the park but Mommy needed to rest. When Deanna fell asleep, in a room with a baby gate, her daughter decided to let the baby out and cause trouble. She went to the neighbors and said her "pill popping mother" (as her father and step-mother teach her) was passed out and she couldn't wake her up. At the neighbors house DHS was called for neglect. Deanna heard the neighbors at the front door and woke to great them. The next day a social worker came to her "messy" house and noted that Deanna was slurring her words. DEANNAS CHILDREN WERE REMOVED FROM HER HOME.

The baby remains in foster care. Deanna has given all medical records, prescriptions and many urine samples to DHS. We are working on a plan to address her daughter's anger and to teach her that "Mommy has to take this medicine for a reason."

We are getting everything sorted out. A date for trial has been set. This scenario could be enacted on any Myalgia Mommies going through a divorce. The truth will always come out, in this case the truth is she has been very wronged by a system that doesn't understand chronic pain.

I am setting up the Deanna Doolittle Project on a separate website where we will be collaborating on this case and possibly a book.

Please help.

Thank you,
Anna-Lisa Johanson JD-MPH